My friends often make fun of the extreme optimism that I tend to shove on to everyone I know or meet. Often times I have been teased for over-using one of my favorite and most cliche quotes, that "anything is possible if you just believe". That, or someone will just counter my efforts to be encouraging with a sarcastic remark, but as I learn more and more about the love of God and the power that He holds, I realize that no matter how many people try to pull down a person's optimism, the truth still remains that all things are possible.
Pretty much everyone who knows me these days knows that I absolutely adore the youth that I work with. I have been blessed to be a youth leader at my church for the past two years, but it wasn't until just last summer that I realized how incredible and important they are to me. I find my optimistic self challenged by the hardships they face, questioned by the blunt innocence they possess and even more surrounded by the love of God then I was before they were in my life. They exhaust me physically and emotionally, but in the best kind of way. And every time they talk to me about something they are going through, or if there is just a lull in our conversation, I happily share my "go to" Bible verse, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (Phillipians 4:13). At first, it was just an easy one to remember and seemed to fit my glass half full kind of personality, but as I use it more and more I am beginning to discover just how powerful those words are. Maybe it is the books I have been reading in the past year (like Radical and Kisses Fom Katie), but with the belief in an omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent God is it really that far-fetched to believe that anything is possible? Or even more, is it so crazy to actually expect the impossible?
What if those old miracles that we read about, like Moses parting the Red Sea and Noah building an arc or maybe a mere human walking on water are still happening today? What if the reason we don't see miracles all the time is not because they aren't happening, but because we are too distracted to be aware of them?
That was too many questions, I know so I want to share a part of what makes me so certain that anything is possible.
If anyone has read any of my posts on this blog, I think it is pretty clear that I had my heart broken once. I talk a lot about the healing process and my mission trip a few months after it happened, when God used a beautiful brown face to show me that His grace would never let me go, but I rarely talk abut the time before that, the time when I wasn't as joyful as I usually am.
I am blessed in that I never went through a depressive stage during my middle or high school years. It's sad that I even have to say that, but I know that so many young girls and guys fall in to that temptation early on. I am also blessed that even though I felt like I was depressed that first month after he was out of my life, God didn't give up on me and the joy that I was trying to hide. It went something like this... Wake up. Drink coffee. Ignore my stomach rumbling for some food (I was also convinced that not eating and somehow getting thinner would help the situation, which it didn't and did not happen). Go to work (I was doing temporary part-time, mind-numbing office work for a construction company). Come home. Avoid talking too much to my family. Avoid smiling. Avoid any ounce of patience for the people that cared about me. Eat something (even trying to starve myself wouldn't stop my love of food). Spend time alone in my room, probably checking Facebook to figure out what he was doing or who he was with. Shower and go to sleep.
I look back now and wish that someone would have just shaken me out of it, told me the things that I tell my youth kids now, maybe even thrown some optimism in my face, but that was not God's plan at the time. The truth is, I stayed like that for a month, faking any smile to keep my parents from suspecting my unhappiness. It wasn't until I started school that fall, met new friends and fell into the routine of a student that I started to remember what it felt like to love life. Slowly but surely I spent more time with people, each one struggling with their own trials. I stopped letting myself think that life was unfair and horrible and that I would never be happy again. I said no to the temptation of forgetting to have faith and just as God does, He made His presence known in a way that restored my hope. Maybe this story isn't grand enough to be placed next to Moses parting the Red Sea, but when I reflect on each minute detail of that time in my life; the people I met and the stories they shared, each one expressing their passions in a different way and giving me the exact words I needed to hear
to live that day with a little bit of joy in my heart, I know that God gave me a miracle in healing me of my heart break.
I am only eighteen (and a half!) but my life has come way too "full circle" to not trust that God is in control of my life. As I watch young adults struggle with a lot of the things I faced last year, I try to encourage them to appreciate the blessings in their life and to seek after the loving perspective that God has when He looks at this world. I have learned that it isn't just about being optimistic. It's about recognizing that anything is truly possible. Whether it be walking on water or just getting over a first love, God is there for it all and nothing is too big or too small for His love. Sometimes it is hard to see past the hurt that is right in front of us, but Jesus Christ gave his life to give us ours. That, if nothing else, is something to rejoice in.
